Mastery of our own relating styles will be an invaluable aid to success in every aspect of life. All too often, however, the pathway to success and enduring relationships is obscured by the unwitting behaviors of others. To challenge others directly in this area can be difficult!

The Relating Styles model, in the Staying in Touch section of the website, located at www.andros.org, uses a simple and playful approach to Style identification. If you've not visited yet, please be our guest! The questionnaire is easily completed within ten minutes.

The model is built using a matrix of Direct / Indirect Communication and Deliberate / Spontaneous Control factors. Such behaviors are usually observable and readily recognized. It's possible therefore to assess the Relating Style of another person simply through your observations - you don't need to be a "Sherlock Holmes" to solve the mystery.

First let's consider Communication - does the person use statements (direct) or questions (indirect) as a rule? Does the voice inflect downwards at the end of a sentence (direct) or upwards (indirect)? Are propositions made as instructions (direct) or as invitations /proposals (indirect)? Is there firmness and conviction (direct) or hesitancy / deliberateness and/or qualification (indirect)?

Now, let's look at Control methods, starting with eye contact. Is it direct and challenging (deliberate) and/or active, playful or deflective (spontaneous)?

How is the body positioned - upright, commanding, even intimidating (deliberate) or oblique, mobile and restless (spontaneous)? What about gestures - do they indicate purpose, presence and focus (deliberate) or are they distracting, energetic and constantly changing (spontaneous)?

This is enough to steer you to the probable Relating Style being used. Certainly it's not definitive, but it is sufficient to raise your awareness of where the other person is "coming from". You may well need additional information on practical options and/or on the consequences of the particular Style being used. Detailed descriptions are available. Drop us a line at info@andros.org for your free copy.

Now you can respond appropriately. Confront the Eagles; stimulate the Owls to action; focus the Peacocks on the issues; align the Swallows to productive action. The details are all there, both for your own growth and development or to assist others who may benefit from the insights you've gained.

There's more substantial help available for those critical decisions and/or difficult cases. Don't continue to struggle with the problem. Visit the Personnel Assessment section (detail) of the website for some timely assistance.