How often do you need to negotiate something in your business day? In your private life? In any one of your many relationships?

You'll probably be amazed to learn that the average person actually negotiates several hundred items each and every day. Many negotiations are so small, or so routine, that we've stopped noticing them.

So, how competent are you at this essential skill? Have you considered, studied, practiced those strategies that could benefit you?

Here are six strategic elements or "principles" which will assist you to get whatever it is that you want. Consider them a "primer" on how to negotiate more successfully.

1 Adopt a WIN - WIN perspective.

The only sure way to get what you need is to help others to get what they want. These are rarely the same thing - we're not always in conflict - we're just all different!

2 Keep it simple . . .

Issues are the substance of negotiation. When issues are combined to make "positions" they become almost impossible to resolve. Break positions down into single elements and then describe each one in terms of "needs" and "wants" for the benefit of all involved.

3 Common Ground is key to success . . .

In most cases, what we can agree on far outweighs that which divides us. Use it to your advantage. Start by confirming the many interests, benefits and advantages that are shared, then identify those things which are different but not in conflict. Finally, you're left with just a few things that need to be negotiated - the task is made easier this way.

4 Trade for success and with dignity . . .

Your "needs" may well relate to my "wants" . We don't value things in the same way. This makes trading possible. If you are able to "help" me get what I need to have, then I'll be ready to help you in exchange - and, best of all, we'll remain good friends.

5 Expose the Dirty Tricks . . .

This means exposing the trick, not the person. Remember that. To preserve dignity, you have to attack the behavior - not the person. Identify the tactic that is causing you grief, state how you feel about it and suggest an alternative and acceptable tactic to replace it.

6 Master your Emotions . . .

If you can keep your head when all about you others are losing theirs, you'll be successful in negotiation - for yourself and also for others. This means staying in touch with your feelings, recognizing when your "strings" are being pulled, and having a game plan available that allows you to respond with quiet assurance/equanimity.

It's always useful to know what it is that can "throw you off kilter", especially when negotiating , and even for the "small stuff".

Yes, you do need to "sweat the small stuff". If you're not sure you agree with this, try sleeping with a mosquito sometime.

Why not try the Hot Buttons questionnaire in the Staying in Touch section of our Website at http://www.andros.org ? Self knowledge, and six principles, could make a real difference for you.