We invest in business meetings in order to get what we need and want. Yet a significant fear, for many of us, is to "lose it".

Meetings - an activity where we spend hours and hours creating minutes! They are supposedly an exercise in effective communication. Too often they become an exercise in total frustration. Success can depend on our ability to keep a practical balance between the rational and the emotional, both necessary but sometimes mutually exclusive.

How would you like to:

• perform well under intense or prolonged pressure?
• survive and succeed, even in the face of unprovoked hostility / aggression?
• out-maneuver those who pull your emotional strings?
• provide an anchor point when discussions become "stormy"?
• offer considered, rational yet sensitive, mature perspective consistently?
• It's well within your grasp, and not as difficult as it might appear.

Let's first understand the cause. The urge to react defensively to attack is very powerful. It's based in our primitive, limbic brain, the seat of emotions. When there's danger, the higher brain functions are short-circuited and there's a "limbic highjack". We act on impulse, often to regret our actions later. The impact can range from "bite my tongue" situations, through "road rage" to feelings of outright murder. It really does help to take a deep breath, count to ten, and give your rational mind the time to get back into the "driver's seat".

The best defense is to improve the speed of response of the rational mind. To start to think before we start to act. This means having a considered plan of action. Everyone admires those who can keep their head or their "cool" when the temperature rises. You an do substantially better with some self-insight and selected practice.

If you'd like some constructive help with this, visit Staying in Touch (the Assertiveness article) at - www.andros.org

First, use the diagnostic to measure where you're "at".

Then construct a simple action plan using the suggestions provided. Finally, implement for immediate, tangible results.