Management guru, Peter Drucker probably said it best - "The purpose of an organization is to allow ordinary people to do extra-ordinary things". Business is, after all, about people - and how they well they relate around a common purpose.

The real work is done when two or more persons get together and the creative energies flow between them. Thus, it all happens at the interface - if true value is to be generated. After all, what happens inside each of us is of little value if it is not shared effectively.

Sharing adds value
The process of sharing depends on open communication. It also relies on flexible attitudes toward control. Too often, communication acts like a racing engine and control serves as the transmission, where traction is possible only when there is reasonable balance.

Effectiveness - through balance
When we balance communication and control, our relating style is said to be effective. Where there's imbalance we lose effectiveness.

Communication can be described as "Direct" or "Indirect" on a continuum.

Similarly, control can be expressed as "Deliberate" or "Spontaneous", also on a continuum.

A Bird's Eye View
Overlay one upon the other and we have a useful matrix which helps us to recognize the Relating Style in use.

Deliberate
Indirect /Deliberate (OWL)	| | | | | | | | | |	Direct / Deliberate (EAGLE)
Indirect----------------		---------------Direct
Indirect / Spontaneous (SWALLOW)		Direct / Spontaneous (PEACOCK)
Spontaneous

When you are relating with others, which of the four Styles do you prefer? As the result of your composite experience within your organization, which Style has proven to be most effective for you - your "dominant" Style? How do you respond when your preferred style is not working - your "back-up" Style? Are you aware? Or do you simply react / respond without conscious awareness?

Awareness is key
Clearly there are substantial benefits in being aware, in control of the Relating Styles you use. Among these is the ability to deal with others' behaviors, instead of their "personalities" or "temperaments", which is so much simpler. Also, when these behaviors are getting in the way of productivity, or interfering with longer term relationships, it's useful to have a "safe" way to address the issues.

Here's a convenient diagnostic that will assist you to identify your preferred Relating Styles. Why not take a few minutes to gain a little mastery in your life?

So, how do you use this new-found knowledge to improve your relationships right now? Consider the suggestions included here - adopt those which could make a difference for you.

Perhaps the brief self-analysis provided some interesting "food for thought" and suggested some simple actions that could contribute to more meaningful and rewarding relationships - for yourself, as much as for anyone else!

More?
If you are interested in a more detailed and comprehensive description of the four Relating Styles, one which contains extensive options for growth and development over time, please contact us at info@andros.org ( Subject: Styles Descriptors) for your free copy.

We'd be delighted to assist you to be even more effective in the ways you relate and contribute with others. For details about one-on-one coaching, in person or by phone, see 'what we do - executive coaching'. Or, contact us directly for personal attention.