Coming from a “service” background I’m more than a little familiar with the concept of expectations and the importance of meeting, if not exceeding them, in order to create satisfaction.

Equally, as part of the Western world, we’re taught that we must have goals and standards – expectations “of self”, that is – if we are to lead a meaningful life.

In other words, without “expectations” can there be a true measure of progress, success or even satisfaction?

Well, last week I believe I learned otherwise!

A good friend has an interest in all things spiritual. She’s a true explorer. Keen to hear new ideas, share perspectives and experiences. And of late there’s been one area of particular interest. I say area, but perhaps topic would better describe it….though it’s so “new” it is as yet un-labeled, or categorized.

You can imagine my excitement when browsing the net I came across a couple of references which alluded to this subject matter. The more I read, the more I found. The more I found, the more excited I got. Not because I am particularly interested in the subject, but because I just knew that my friend would be fascinated, even joyous.

Knowing that she’s a stickler for detail and very much appreciates “personalized presentations” I took great care to prepare, present and package the information in what I thought was a meaningful way. I was only sorry I would not be there to see her face, no doubt alight with surprise, when she opened my gift.

Actually, I’d had fun doing it. And truth be told, there were some pretty nifty ideas in all the material I’d scanned – and my “surfing” prowess had grown by leaps and bounds.

Well, I didn’t quite sit by the phone waiting for her call….but when she hadn’t called within 24 hours I decided to ensure that she’d actually received the package.

“Package?” she asked. “When?, Where? What was in it?” “Oh, that! Yes, thanks. Quite interesting really…….did I mention…….” she said, going on to something far more mundane.

I was disappointed. No, let me be honest…I was dismayed. Perhaps even a little resentful. After all, I’d invested a fair amount of my precious time in putting this together. I was due some recognition, some gratitude, some… Or was I?

This all has me wondering how often we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure – whether real or perceived ? How often we do judge ourselves by other’s reactions? And if, in fact, our expectations don’t just get in the way of progress – and satisfaction?

I suspect they do. How about you?