It is said that there are only two ways to get lost… the first, not to know where it is you're going. The second, not knowing from whence you've come.

Well, truth be told, over the years I think I must have become well and truly lost. Oh, it's not that I didn't know where I was going. I just didn't know where I was coming from.

The combination of a pre-disposition to “not being good enough” and the North American tendency to want everything “bigger and better” played right into my hands – or was it my head! For years I focused on what I wanted to have happen. Not so much in terms of material goods, intellectual abilities and social status as in terms of perspectives, insights and personal growth. I focused almost entirely on a “ better me”. Not just for myself, but for others.

Last weekend seemed to prove that my efforts had been worthwhile. I had decided to take some time out. To just “be”. To let life take me where it wanted. In other words, to “go with the flow” rather than pre-determine (as in schedule) every passing moment.

I spent some time with new-found friends. Bright, intelligent, curious folk – warm and challenging at one and the same time. It was fun. All that work I'd done on myself had paid off. I held my own.

Later, I was in touch with a friend from college days, someone with whom I had not been in touch for over thirty years. I was completely taken aback by how pleased she was to hear from me - she was literally “over the moon”.

But how could this be? She'd known me in the “old days” – warts and all. In the days before I'd become who I am now. Or so I thought.

It was only then that I fully appreciated, that in both instances, I was actually “being” me. And that, apparently, was OK.

Just as I have learned that “living fast” doesn't always translate to “living well”, so too have I learned that by focusing on who I thought I was “becoming” I very nearly lost sight of “who I really am”.

Have you?